Boffin Resurrection

It's good to be a Boffin.  Again.  

Last night the Boffins enjoyed nothing short of a miraculous revival in fortunes on the pitch.  We revelled in a goal-scoring extravaganza.  The coaches brief was to play as if there was only half a pitch - our attacking half.  And while those directions were a little difficult to carry out to the letter, we gave it our best shot.  

I viewed the pitch from the goal for the first half as the boys kept the Bandits goal-less and scored three themselves.  Bob, Dan and Ant (I think) were the first half contributors.  Bob's goal was a wonderful, opportunistic strike from a distance that sailed over the keepers head and into the top left corner, just under the cross bar.  

However, the goal of the night does go to Dan.  Dan's a momentum player.  Give him enough time to build up pace on a run towards goal, and anything can happen.  Late in the second half he took the ball forward with skill - only to be dispossessed untidily just short of the goal.  Dan wasn't turning back, as the ball ricocheted and rebounded of various attackers and defenders to finally connect with his toned-and-ready mid-riff.  This is the moment that the pre-season preparation finally paid off.  All those home brews at Port Fairy over summer had contributed to form Dan's belly into a spring-loaded, goal-shooting weapon.  As Dan's momentum forward continued the ball sank into his gut and rebounded at pace.  There was nothing the keeper could do as it found the back of the net and Dan ground to a halt. 

Goal to the Boffins, as Dan moves to the top of the Golden Gut table. 

We'll be refining that move in practice. Watch this space.


Back in the world of traditional soccer skills, Dave climbed up the Golden Boot table in the second half.  Maybe.  In the attacking half Dave made great position, often finding himself in the goal-mouth, poised to strike.  This was on a night, however, when every ball that came his way there seemed to be going in any-way.  He brushed his foot on a free-kick from Pete that already had every body beat.  He tripped over a shot from Ant that managed to find it's way past him into the net anyway.  So either Dave got two for the night or he got none. 

But best of all, we had fun.  Never mind that we let three easy goals in.  Or that Adam, spec-less, couldn't convince Pete to pass the ball up front.  

It was a night the Boffins were determined to enjoy.  We won 6-3.

May there be plenty more like that.  

Boffin Nightmares

Sometimes I don't sleep so well. 

Really.  

But recently things have been a bit better.  



(I reckon I've got Shift Work Sleep Disorder, since walking the halls of hospitals overnight for too many months in my mid 20s.  But that's another story.  Re-Timer specs are all the rage at our house at the moment, and I think they're helping...See pic)

But I digress.  

Last night I had a nightmare. It went like this...

Boffins Stu and Jenks were involved.  We'd gotten our families together for a meal on a Wednesday night, pre-game.  Just like we were planning to this week.  

But somewhere along the line we got distracted.  We were having a great time with the kids, but around 8pm we remembered the game.  Which we'd missed!

We arrived in panicked state to find out that, no, we hadn't forfeitted the game. (Would that have meant relegation from the bottom of the ladder).  Rather, Boffin Dan had marshalled a number of younger players as stand-ins.  They'd donned wanna-be Boffin red shirts.  And they'd won.  

Without us.  

We were - I was - redundant.  Completely incidental to Boffin victory.  

Anyone able to tell me what this dream means?

Keeper-Sweeper?

Let's talk strategy. 

I was inspired recently by the following footage demonstrating an outstanding effort from a goalkeeper:

Unfortunate deflection from the opposition defence.  

I want to be this keeper.

The Boffins need to score more goals.  And quite frankly, at this stage of the season I really don't care if we let a few in.  Let's just score more!

Our recent games have been characterised, I think, by a fear of being scored against.  The Smurfs did this to us.  They took our middle-aged mojo (speaking for myself)  when they kicked four goals in the first ten minutes against us three weeks ago.  The presence of my family (did they jinx us?) on the side line did not prevent a bewildered profanity escaping from my lips after this keeper was beaten for the fourth time.  "Can I please just go home now?"

The fact that we stayed and played, and let in no more goals but rather scored two of our own to nil in the second half, seemed a small victory at the time.  Actually, it was no victory at all.  It was still a 4-2 defeat.  But at this stage in my life, sometimes it's the little things that count.  Like the way that half of a soccer match won outweighs the other half of the same match lost badly. 

Or so we tell ourselves.  But we left the field, in fact, losers that night.  And we've been losers ever since.  

Even worse, I arrived home that night a loser in the eyes of my family.  

This week, I just don't care.  Let's forget about trying to stop the opposition from scoring, and let's try to score a few ourselves.  How about 5.  Or 6.   

Let's throw caution to the wind.  

Let's play forward.  Well forward.  

And let's enable this forward-play by playing the keeper, in this seven-a-side match, well up and out of the goal mouth.  Let's keep the ball in their half (except when they rebound and score easy goals, I hear you say).  Let's play the keeper up at the half way line when we attack, and let's put everyone else in the attacking half.  

In fact, let's just play without a keeper.  We'll put the gloves on some bloke and he can pick the ball up if he's in the goal mouth.  But otherwise he can run the field.  

Let's do that.  

But we'd better score some goals, please.  

Or we'll all look like idiots.  

Boffins SOS

Nearly half-way through season 2013 and the Boffins are in trouble.  Stringing together losses; struggling to score goals; feeling old......  Those 'Where's Wally' uniforms are beginning to look less humourous and rather more prophetic.  Might be time for these lost souls to break out the striped beanies during match play.  

Seriously, somethings got to give.  For the sake of the fans - seen in this image jeering rather than cheering - we need to do better, boys

So, with the aim of revitalising the Boffins' fortunes on the soccer pitch I consider that it's time to revitalise the Boffins blog.  

Here you'll read game reports and match stats.  You'll be able to keep track of Dave as he brings home the golden boot, and of Dan as he hovers on the far post waiting for the ball, and occasionally falls over his own feet.  Musso will leave you eating his dust as he relives his glory years (now sadly many decades past).  Newcomer  Jenks will delight with his pace at both ends of the pitch.  The importance of Matt's close attention to opposition forwards will become apparent as wins and losses seem to depend on his presence and absence.  (We'll do the maths on that).  We'll discover if parenthood has dulled Ant's abilities, and if Adam can continue to overcome his aversion to the round-ball game to contribute handily.  Can Stu get through the season without buggering his ankle and ending his surfing career?  Is Bob really worthy of the MVP award? Or is his name really John?  (I know it's not Rob).  Where  is the Super Ham?  (Everywhere, even in goal sometimes).  Will I get to play out of goal....

Cue post number two.  Wait til you read about our strategy for this week....

Good to be back.